Confessions of a Bullied Girl

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Bullying was always something you would see in a foreign movie. Nerdy kids being bullied by the jocks and the popular kids. That's always typical in an American film. I never thought that it would happen in real life (in the Philippine setting) or that it would happen to me.

I used to be bullied a whole lot in school and because of a variety of reasons: because I have curly hair, because I am "dark," because my family name is funny, because I don't know how to dance, and because I was smart. I was bullied by boys, girls, and even by an entire class. They would call me names, laugh at me, and talk behind my back. However, they all pretend to be friends with me afterwards. This made me even more angry.

Being bullied by all of my classmates because I was the top of the class, probably was the most unforgettable bullying experience I ever had. When the teacher was gone, they would all call me names and tell me that I was worthless. They would all laugh at me. This lasted a few months until at some point I was already rank two. After that, they stopped.

Only one person stood by me and defied our entire class, that was my bestfriend. It's kind of funny how they tried to persuade her against me, but she just wouldn't. I thank her for keeping me sane all throughout that ordeal. She and that experience were the reasons why I got into writing. I wrote about that experience and submitted it to our school paper's adviser and that started it all.

All throughout grade school and in the later part of my high school, I was bullied. Oftentimes, they pretend to be friends with me, but I just know who they really are. I play along with their pretend niceness, but at the back of my head I know everything they've been saying.

Sometimes you'd think that bullying only happens in school. However, it's prevalent at work. People think bullying is only limited to aggression or verbal abuse. However, emotional or psychological abuse is also a form of bullying.

Being bullied is one of the reasons why I have trust issues. I don't trust people right away. Trust can be a long process for me and it's something that I give sparingly. I also have this tendency to stay away from people after being close to them. I'm afraid that people will leave me so I choose to leave them first and save myself from the pain.

Bullying has also led me to become hateful and vengeful. I can't forgive people right away. I always remember the pain and the misery brought about by those instances and the people who bullied me. This is also the same to those people who have hurt me. To be honest, I've never forgiven any one of them. This hate is the reason why I'm workaholic at times. I just want to focus on success, on my career, on my future. Oftentimes, this mentality helps me cope with all the disappointments and pain in my life. The more I focus on myself, the more I am able to control all the hurt that I've gone through.

Sometimes I wish I can be comfortable in my own skin without worrying about all the bad things people say about me. I need to remind myself that in bullying, nothing is wrong with the victim. Oftentimes, it's the offender who has problems.

To Oslob

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early morning in Oslob

We went to Oslob for two days for work. Although the town's background is definitely set up for a vacation, it was an on-location fashion shoot for me (and the rest of the team).

Oslob is more than three hours of travel from Cebu City. Tourists can take the bus from South Bus Terminal or a v-hire from Citilink. The resorts are located right along the road so it isn't a problem to locate one.

bangkas lined up for whale shark diving

tuki: a huge (but adorable) sea creature

The whale sharks (called tuki in Cebuano) in Oslob brought in a lot of tourists in the recent years. These gentle giants go near the shores to feed on krills given to them by local fishermen. Tourists can go swim and dive with these whale sharks for a certain fee and must adhere to the rules and regulations set by the local government of Oslob. There's also a set swimming time for tourists, usually in the morning.

Before going to the sea, tourists have to go through a quick mini-seminar on what you can and can't do in the sea with the whale sharks. Everyone should also wear a life jacket while on the boat. You can remove it though, if you wish to swim deeper and see the whale sharks.

The whole "swim time" is only 30 minutes so you have to make the most out of time if you want to enjoy the sharks' company. Remember to go to Oslob early so you won't miss the whale sharks.

derp face to Tumalog

Tumalog Falls

Aside from the whale sharks, Tumalog Falls is also becoming another famous tourist attraction in Oslob. The waterfall is located far from the main highway. One needs to take a road going up to the mountains and find a sign that says Tumalog Falls. If you have a car, you can drive up to the falls and just park at the "parking space" inside the compound. If you're commuting, you can also ride a motorbike taxi (habal-habal) going up to the falls. Remember, there's an entrance fee.

Tumalog definitely is a breathtaking waterfall. You can have a little picnic on the rocks and eat with your friends and family. You can also stay there the entire day, if you want to. I know my photo doesn't give it justice. We went to Tumalog on a cloudy late afternoon. The area is covered with trees and bamboos which make the place even darker. Anyway, it's best to go there when the sun is out so it's not that cold. Tumalog also closes at 6PM so better be there early.

view from the bangka

My two cents worth on Oslob's whale shark diving:

I wasn't really a fan of this kind of tourism in Oslob even when it first started. Although this is a good income for displaced fishermen in the area, I feel bad whenever the whale sharks get hit by a boat or when tourists disregard the rules and touch the whale sharks. There have been quite a few instances when people rode the back of the whale sharks and some got hit by the boats. It's so difficult to implement the rules and there should be a hefty fine for not abiding in the said rules.

I don't think this is a sustainable way of tourism for the area, especially environmentally. Although it's a great opportunity to observe whale sharks up close. This can do them even more harm than good. While we were there, one whale shark hit itself against our little boat and almost hit me. Although it was an accident, I hope it didn't get itself badly hurt.

my little feet

on the way to land

This is the reason why I didn't visit Oslob despite living in Cebu and passing by the area frequently due to my trips to Negros Oriental. If it weren't for my job, I wouldn't have been there. I don't have hate tourists for wanting to dive with the whale sharks. I can't blame them. They're really a beauty to behold. If you do get a chance to visit the whale sharks, please follow the set rules and don't cause any harm to these friendly animals.

I hope in the coming months or years, there's a more sustainable way of keeping whale sharks from being hunted while also being able to observe them without sacrificing their natural way of life. I know this is usually a never-ending topic, especially for environmentalists. I just hope there's a compromise somewhere.

*photos taken with underwater plastic camera and Kodak Ultramax 400*

Review: Konica Auto S2

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I was able to test out a Konica Auto S2 this week for a friend. We sold it to her through our small online camera store, Stills.

The Konica Auto S2 is a pretty rangefinder camera. I get a lot of compliments with the camera both from non-enthusiasts to the professional photographers in our newsroom (I work in a newspaper). The S2 is a Japanese rangefinder made in the 60s.  It has a 45mm f/1.8 hexanon lens that gives sharp images. Its viewfinder features an automatic parallax correction.

Although the camera can be used automatic, I used it manually. The original batteries for the S2 is no longer available. However, you can use replacement batteries (silver oxide batteries) to be able to use the light meter. If you follow the Sunny 16 rule, you don't need to use the light meter.

The downsides to the S2 is that it is pretty huge and heavy for a rangefinder camera and is the same size as an SLR. Most rangefinders are smaller and lighter, which are the reasons why they are the faves of many enthusiasts. In spite of its size and weight, it's a pretty sturdy camera, which is great for day-to-day shooting or street photography.

Aside from that, adjusting the shutter speed and the aperture can be a hassle to some. Both dials are located on the lens, including the focusing knob. Most people are annoyed by the fact that turning the focusing knob oftentimes affects the shutter speed and aperture dial. However, I've never encountered this problem since I mostly shoot outdoors and use the same settings here in sunny (and humid) Cebu.

I used the camera for four days around Cebu. I shot mostly on daylight and just on the streets of Cebu and in school (UP Cebu). I have to say that it was pretty heavy for a very petite girl like me, who also carries a whole lot of stuff in the bag. But if you're not bringing a lot of things, this is just alright to bring with you. My only problem with rangefinders is that I find it difficult to focus with the patch. 

Overall, I was really glad with how my photos turned out. Most of the shots were sharp and really interesting. I never expected a lot from the camera and the photos just proved how this can be a great addition to one's collection. I also like it as a camera for street photography.

The results of this roll really inspired me to take out the Konica Auto S2 my boyfriend got me last year. I was never able to use it because of its completely faded patch. We're planning to work on this little trick to brighten up the patch and I'll update you how it goes. I was never inclined to rangefinders and I always thought of myself as an SLR and toy camera kind of gal. However, the Konica Auto S2 converted me and now I'm a believer!

note: Centuria DNP 400 film used

Review: Nikon L35AF

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This is another camera from my boyfriend's stash of film cameras (he has more cameras than you can imagine).

The Nikon L35AF is a standard-looking point-and-shoot film camera. It is the first compact automatic camera from Nikon with an autofocus. It's a cult classic among collectors and was an instant hit when it was first released due to its design.

It has a 35mm lens with f/2.8 widest aperture. It's in-viewfinder focus indication makes it handy for users to check if they are in focus or not. It has portrait, group, and landscape symbols inside to know how you're focusing. It focuses from 0.8m to infinity. The camera has its own flash and is powered by two AA batteries.

I've heard a lot of good things about the camera. You can read Shawn's review here and Ken Rockwell's review here. My boyfriend seems to enjoy this camera too and lent it to me for my out-of-town work trip. However, I found it too heavy for me, especially when it's a compact camera. Though it is sturdy, I guess I just prefer those lightweight toy cameras for lugging around.

I also found the autofocus cumbersome. I know this might be weird, but I just didn't like it. I found it difficult to adjust and recompose my shot, especially when I changed my mind on a shot. Maybe it takes some getting used to.

It takes decent photos for its size. This camera takes wide photos and this is usually hard to come by for a compact camera. The L35AF is also considered as a cheap alternative to the Contax T3. I love how some of the photos I took were good.

scratches all over :(

However, I was also frustrated with how the other photos turned out. I used a Fujicolor 200 on the camera. I'm thinking that this has something to do with my local lab since all of my other films aren't turning out right. Most have scratches and there are some random dots on some frames. I'm planning to switch to a new one this year. (I recently switched film labs and got "better" developing and scanning compared to my previous one.)

The Nikon L35AF is a pretty decent camera for its size. I'm sure all the Nikon fanatics would enjoy having this little one in their collections. Since it takes up 35mm film and uses AA batteries, it's pretty easy to use the little guy. Since my first roll from the L35AF didn't turn out great, I'm thinking of taking the camera for another whirl using a brand new lab.

Do you have a Nikon L35AF? Tell me your experiences and thoughts on the L35AF.

Eating Iligan

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They say you get to know a place by tasting the food it has to offer. And, eating was what we certainly did in Iligan City.

I guess as a general rule and theme of our gastronomic escapade, we had no expectations for we didn’t know what was available. Throughout the eating trip, we were checking out the places we passed by and what seemed appetizing. We also relied on Foursquare, which was always a savior in our travels.

Tedts' (near Gaisano)

kuya, the buko vendor

Tedts' was our first stop in Iligan. As a sucker for anything with sugar, the cupcakes sucked me in. It was just a quick lunch before heading out to Gaisano for further exploration.

The buko (coconut water) vendor near Iligan’s plaza was probably the highlight of our visit. Unlike the usual buko in Cebu that comes with white sugar and milk, in Iligan they use brown sugar instead. For P10, you can get a glass of iced buko. What’s interesting is that you can get a refill for free! Free! We didn’t know about this until we saw other people asking for a second glass without paying. From then on, this has become our favorite.

Pan-Q was another interesting food in Iligan. I heard much about this from the boyfriend’s sister and her husband. Think of it as a sandwich version of the Filipino barbecue. The catch is that both the bun and the meat are grilled and slathered with the sauce. Although I found it a bit strange at first, it was actually appetizing. I guess slathering the sauce on the bun made the flavors similar. So, it's all BBQ-y in taste.

Coffee Works

We grabbed some quick coffee at Coffee Works, which was just a few minutes away from the boyfriend's family's shop. It was just a quick stop to cool down since Iligan can be pretty hot and humid during the day. We were a bit disappointed at the coffee and the price. However, the place is pretty nice and quiet.

Pizarella in Iligan

me in Cozycup

We stumbled upon the pizza place by accident when we were dropped by in the area. Since we always love a good pizza, we said why not. Pizzarella has quite yummy pizza, I must say. They had really good selection of pizza and you can also get a free bottle of soda.

Cozycup was a milk tea place that we hunted down since last year. We knew that if we’ll be going to Iligan together, we have to try this place. It was all pinterest-y and cute with its pastel colors and buntings. It was definitely an Instagram-worthy place. The milk tea was just okay and pretty basic compared to other posh milk tea places here in Cebu.

There are definitely quite a lot of places to dine when in Iligan. If you love food then you wouldn't be disappointed. There were still a few places we weren't able to try, but we're looking into it when I'm back in town.

What's your favorite restaurant in Iligan?

PS. Forgive the bad scanning of my local lab. Can't seem to get rid of the white dots on the last two photos.

A Quick Glance of Iligan

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reminds me of downtown Cebu

A lot of people might think of Iligan as a quiet city. That was what I thought, too. However, there are so many things going on in Iligan and it can be an interesting place.

Iligan City is known for its waterfalls. If this is something that interests you, then Iligan is the place to be. There are quite a number of falls that you can go to in Iligan. It has 23 falls. Maria Christina Falls, Tinago, Mimbalot, and Abaga falls are among the most notable.

Maria Christina Falls

a man-made cave near Maria Christina (with tons of bats)

The Maria Christina Falls is by far among the most famous waterfalls in the country as it powers most of Mindanao. For a minimal fee, you can go up the National Power Corporation Nature Park and see the grandeur of Maria Christina up close. The plant only opens to tourists on Sundays so expect other visitors. There are also other recreational activities in the park, like zipline.

Gloria's playhouse in the property

The Macapagal-Macaraeg ancestral house was one of our touristy stops in Iligan. It was the home of former president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo's youth. The caretaker of the property will tell you a lot of things about the house and the family. It can be an interesting historical treat. The house is open for everyone without any fee. You can donate any amount to the caretaker, though.

Transportation is not a problem in Iligan. You can go around the city riding jeepneys. That's what the boyfriend and I did when we explored downtown. You can ride a jeep to anywhere you want to go. 

a busy street in Iligan (on a jeep)

Unfortunately, we weren't able to spend ample of time going to touristy spots in Iligan, aside from Maria Christina Falls and the Macapagal-Macaraeg ancestral house. I'm looking forward to visiting Timoga Cold Springs next time I'm in town. We did enjoy rummaging through the different restaurants in Iligan, which was the best part of the trip (and will be up next week). I guess I'm going to see Iligan next time. ;)

2014: The Year that Was

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feet on the water (Tingko, Alcoy)

2014 was as swift as the wind. I guess when you get older, days and months seem to pass by quickly like nobody's business. And, before you know it a full year has gone.

Although this year was a sick year for me, I wouldn't have done it any other way. Being hospitalized in the first of January without even knowing why was definitely hard. I actually thought that would be the end of me. Although I recovered, I still have to be on the look out in case I experience the same symptoms again.

new year at the hospital *

Because of that experience, I was keen on living life and prioritizing what I thought was important. It was like a wake-up call to focus on things that actually matter. It was also that time when I realized who are the ones who will be there for me when I needed them the most.

us (Maria Christina Falls) *

2014 was also a year of firsts for me. I flew to Manila for the first time (for work). I went to Dipolog/Mindanao for the first time (still for work). I spent a couple of days in solitude with my boyfriend in Siquijor. I visited his family in Iligan City for the first time. The list goes on, actually. I could say I've managed to cram quite a few locations in 12 months despite my lack of budget. All these trips made 2014 even more memorable.

This year I decided to do myself a favor and write a little list of yearly achievable goals. While I was at the hospital, I realized I don't want to die without doing something for myself, like going out of my comfort zone and meeting new people.  I know I seem to do it every year, but this is the first time I was able to tick a few on the list, like getting my passport. Learning to drive and swim are still carried over to my 2015 list. *wink*

three (plus one) on a motorbike to Mantalungon

I guess this 2014, I didn't fail in celebrating and patting myself at the back for the little accomplishments I've done. Nobody will pat myself if I won't and nobody will accomplish those things for me, unless I do it myself. Overall, 2014 has been a can-do year and I'm happy on how it turned out. It wasn't so bad after all.

I can't wait for 2015 and I'm hoping it's going to be a big one. I now have a fresh list of what I want to do next year. I know it won't be easy, but who said life is? I thank heavens for a brand new year and a year of opportunities. So, bring 2015 on!

Note: * digital photos